called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
