Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Your cock deserves a montage
My penis needs a shock collar
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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