Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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