Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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