thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
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