Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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