When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
