dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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