I would go down on you faster than GM stock
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
