I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
