i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
