I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
