she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize