You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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