Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Randomize
