FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
4 words: hood of his car
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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