I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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