his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
