I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
All I want is dick and wine.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
