he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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