at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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