carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
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