How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
