Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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