i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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