I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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