sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You need Xanax blowdarts
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
