32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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