pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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