just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
