God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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