That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
