I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
