Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
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