Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
