I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I came so hard my ears popped.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
