Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Please don't give away my fajitas
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
