For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
