I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
