And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
