you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
