i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
my vag is so smooth its legendary
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
