the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
