Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
