I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
