I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
