In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
