C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
