Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
