yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
