Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
