He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
