gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
